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- Geej se lèllike voel hod!
- If I were in the Beatles, I'd be a good George Harrison. ~ Noel Gallagher
- beter met slecht weer thuis dan met goed weer aan het werk
- Maar wist je dat Brussel ooit de pornohoofdstad van Brussel was?
- Champignons in de camions, compagnon
- putting god ahead of humanity is a terrible thing
- Liever HOOGGEVOELIG en echt, dan omHOOGGEVALLEN en fake
- Helaas heb ik een zuurpruim als baas
- Jaaa, toe maar! Begin maar weer vrolijk te gutsen!
- Sinds een paar dagen ruikt mijn plas een stuk sterker en stinkt het ook een beetje. Vorig weekend heb ik onveilig gevreeën met een onbekend meisje.
- ... en daarmee zakt de kous af!!
- Het was er warm en druk en ik zat op een lege kruk .
- Neem nooit je hondje mee naar de Chinees
- Maandag wordt de uitgave van Pink Floyds remasters en de collector's campagne luister bijgezet met het opnieuw oplaten van een opblaasbaar varken boven de elektriciteitscentrale in het Londense elektriciteitscentrale
- Ze hopen dat ze de rubbertjes zo makkelijker aan de man kunnen brengen. Natuurlijk 'aan de man', een vrouw heeft niks om die 'aan' te doen
- Verknoei je tijd op een nuttige manier!
Exam answers
Brigitte, 2004-03-27
These are allegedly ACTUAL answers from recent State exams in England and Wales....amazingly not Ireland!
- English
Define the word “monotony.”
Monotony is being married to the same person all your life.
Use the word “judicious” in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
What does the word “benign” mean?
Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
What is the correct use of a semi-colon?
Only to be used as a last resort, a semi-colon is a partial removal of the intestines.
- Technology
What is a turbine?
Something an Arab wears on his head.
- -History
What is the highest award for valour in war in Britain?
Nelson´s column.
-Religious Instruction
Who did not welcome the return of the prodigal son?
The fatted calf.
What is a Hindu?
It lays eggs.
Name some famous pilgrimages.
Muslims used to go to Gamages but now it is closed. Christians still go on pilgrimage to Lord°s.
- Geography
Name the four seasons.
Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
What is the equator?
A menagerie lion running around the Earth through Africa.
Name a greenhouse gas. What could be done to decrease global warming?
Cows make large amounts of methane when they fart. This could be reduced by fitting them with catalytic converters.
Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
How is dew formed?
The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
What is a planet?
A body of earth surrounded by sky.
What causes the tides in the oceans?
The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum.
I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
What is a fossil?
A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.
- Biology
What happens to your body as you age?
When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
Premature death.
~ Bekeken: 41 × | TOP | THUIS | TERUG
These are allegedly ACTUAL answers from recent State exams in England and Wales....amazingly not Ireland!
- English
Define the word “monotony.”
Monotony is being married to the same person all your life.
Use the word “judicious” in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
What does the word “benign” mean?
Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
What is the correct use of a semi-colon?
Only to be used as a last resort, a semi-colon is a partial removal of the intestines.
- Technology
What is a turbine?
Something an Arab wears on his head.
- -History
What is the highest award for valour in war in Britain?
Nelson´s column.
-Religious Instruction
Who did not welcome the return of the prodigal son?
The fatted calf.
What is a Hindu?
It lays eggs.
Name some famous pilgrimages.
Muslims used to go to Gamages but now it is closed. Christians still go on pilgrimage to Lord°s.
- Geography
Name the four seasons.
Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
What is the equator?
A menagerie lion running around the Earth through Africa.
Name a greenhouse gas. What could be done to decrease global warming?
Cows make large amounts of methane when they fart. This could be reduced by fitting them with catalytic converters.
Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
How is dew formed?
The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
What is a planet?
A body of earth surrounded by sky.
What causes the tides in the oceans?
The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum.
I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
What is a fossil?
A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.
- Biology
What happens to your body as you age?
When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
Premature death.
~ Bekeken: 41 × | TOP | THUIS | TERUG
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